My scanner isn’t working.
WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFTERY
Having a rough time of it right now. We’re staying in the basement apartment at Nate’s mama’s house while the construction at our house is at a standstill. The guys we are planning on hiring to finish the rest said they’d call today with a quote and … no call. Such a good sign.
I can hear footsteps upstairs all the time. It’s her live-in boyfriend. He’s a hard worker and he’s helping us a LOT with the work in the house, but it makes me paranoid that we’re making too much noise or not cleaning up enough - I left this morning for an appointment and kicked myself in the car ‘cause I left the TV on. At least I thought I did. ‘Cause when I got back here, it was off.
Paranoid.
I feel like I’m not doing enough, not accomplishing enough, not progressing enough in anything. Nutritionist appointments turn into conversations about water retention, since I’m eating pretty healthily (especially when all we have is a microwave and a toaster oven) and not making any headway.
I worry about the dog. I worry about Nate. I worry about the house, about friends, about what the next few years of my life will be like, about money, about jobs, about everything.
And the thing is, I live for this time of year. I love it so much. And for the past couple of years, fuh-hucking HELL I can’t catch a break to sit back and enjoy it.
I don’t know. Worrying gets you nowhere. I just need something happy to focus on, and I’m not sure what that could be. I just HATE the times when I wish I could fast forward through life. That’s a waste of every single day.
But when I want to curl up in a ball and hide away from everything, I keep pushing on, day to day. So even if it’s not progress, it’s survival and I guess for now I’m okay with that.
Whoa awesome painting! Joe Havasy. Look him up!
You know he’s like super good buddies with Andy, right?
‘Cause if not, whoa. The world’s smallness would blow my mind.
The awesome russian (makes her more badass somehow) photographer who grabbed us for an impromptu session at Nate’s dad’s wedding sent over some pictures at the end of the night last night. This was like lighting a candle in the darkness of Moving Out Hell.
Check came in the mail!
Screenplay option is finalized, contracts were signed and I just got paaaaaaaaid, bitches!
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
W.H. Auden (via sometimesagreatnotion) (via mongermonger)
Ohhhhh, word.
Waiting in the optometrist’s office to see if I can get my free pair of colored lenses avec Freshlook certificate. Freakiest ones available for Halloween. Cross your fingers he won’t make me get a second eye exam this year to do that.
OR
I could take a stack of fake money, tape it to a headband and stick googly eyes on top of it and go as the money you could be saving with Geico.
Which should I choose??
I had a new idea this morning for an easy Halloween costume.
Easy if you kick total ass at makeup. You know.
Flowers for my hair, regular black attire or sundress, badda bing badda boom. Another year taken care of.
Plan for sanity over the coming year:
Black etsy dress for zombie pin-up on Halloween.
As reward for diligence, order custom-made etsy dress in 50s pattern at beginning of December for Mad Men Christmas party and not constantly feel on edge about Vixen Vintage dress.
Save Vixen Vintage dress as reward and goal progress for anniversary pictures in April. Matching tie for Nate.
Sit down with Liz on Tuesday and no chitty chat, just work out a regimen to follow for each meal, each day.
See renewed progress instead of measly pound-a-week BS stuff, restore confidence in program.
End up looking really, really good in a bridesmaid’s dress for sister-in-law’s wedding in July.
Be proud of maintaining sanity while working hard to reach a goal.
SPIRIT of the season. I see what I did there.
I get so excited for Halloween and this year it’s been totally ignored ‘cause we’re moving literally THE DAY AFTER. Last year we had a flood but we still managed to get costumes together and have fun.
This year, October’s been pretty disaster free …
But no Halloween fun. Not for serious. Probably gonna show my stuff at a Halloween art show, but I’m just in no mood to come up with clever or cute costumes this year. There’s way too much else to think about.
I’m happy, but my brain is EXHAUSTED from coordinating shit.
